Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
