She said her name was "party"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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