worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
