opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
my liver is dry heaving
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize