May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
