I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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