smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Panties = found
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
