So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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