"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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