that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
