I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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