Whod you bang
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
