Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
