Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My dick has a subreddit
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
