There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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