The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
