walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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