Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize