I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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