these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
