You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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