i already hear my dad disowning me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize