Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
