I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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