Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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