So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I need to align my fucking chakras
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