Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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