i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
