the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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