If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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