East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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