jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
