i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
