I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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