Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
