shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
