I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
