i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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