I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
