We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
