he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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