He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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