Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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