i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
