four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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