What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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