A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You're like the curious george of whores
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
