Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
