I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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