He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
