I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
