she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
