Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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