Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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