My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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