yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
COCAINE IS GR8
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
