I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
