I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
