Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
