awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
