3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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