And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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