90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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