Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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